Let's talk about phones at weddings.
More specifically, whether your guests should be allowed to take photos and videos during your ceremony.
Because these days, unplugged wedding ceremonies are incredibly popular.
And from my experience, the overwhelming majority of couples I work with choose to go unplugged.
And from my experience?
That sounds about right.
The overwhelming majority of my couples choose to go unplugged.
So much so that when a couple doesn't want an unplugged ceremony, I genuinely have to remind myself not to go into autopilot and announce it during my pre-ceremony housekeeping.
But here's the thing.
I'm not here to tell you whether your guests should have their phones out.
I'm here to help you make the decision that's right for you.
What Actually Is an Unplugged Ceremony?
Pretty simple, really.
An unplugged ceremony is where you ask your guests to put away their phones, cameras and other devices for the duration of the ceremony.
No photos.
No videos.
Just everyone sitting back, being present and enjoying the moment.
And personally, I think there's something pretty bloody special about that.
Instead of looking down the aisle and seeing a sea of phones, you're seeing the faces of the people you've invited to share one of the biggest moments of your lives.
Their smiles.
Their tears.
Their reactions.
They're experiencing the moment with you, rather than watching it through a screen.
And having witnessed hundreds of ceremonies, I can confidently say there's a noticeable difference in how engaged guests are when their phones are tucked away.
But What If You Don't Want an Unplugged Ceremony?
That's completely fine too.
Not every couple has a preference.
And when that's the case, I generally suggest we simply don't make an announcement either way.
We don't actively encourage guests to take photos, but we don't tell them they can't either.
People can use their own judgment.
And thankfully, most wedding guests are pretty respectful.
But there's also another option worth considering.
What if you actually WANT your guests taking photos?
I've had a couple who deliberately encouraged it.
They didn't have the budget for a professional photographer, so instead, they invited their guests to capture photos and videos throughout the day.
Then, at the reception, they provided a QR code where everyone could upload their photos and videos into a shared collection.
How bloody clever is that?
A practical, economical way to capture a whole heap of memories from different perspectives.
And a perfect example of why I never believe there's only one right way to do things.
Now, Let Me Tell You About Grandma and Her iPad
This one still makes me laugh.
Although, at the time, I can assure you it wasn't particularly funny.
I was conducting a wedding for a beautiful couple, both with Chinese heritage.
They'd explained beforehand that approximately half their guests wouldn't understand English.
No worries at all.
We'd also discussed their preference for an unplugged ceremony.
Again, no worries.
Except there was one fairly important detail that had been overlooked.
Nobody had communicated that request to the guests who didn't speak English.
So there I was, standing at the front of the ceremony.
The music starts.
The bride appears with her father.
It's a beautiful moment.
And then…
Grandma enters the chat.
Armed with an iPad.
Not a phone.
An actual bloody iPad.
And she wasn't just sitting quietly in her seat taking a cheeky photo.
Oh no.
Grandma was halfway out into the aisle, filming the bride and her father as they approached.
Then, just as they reached her, she politely stepped aside to let them pass.
Lovely.
Except she immediately stepped straight back into the aisle to continue filming them all the way to the arbour.
I genuinely thought those stories about guests blocking wedding aisles with their devices were exaggerated.
Turns out, they're not.
Now, to be fair to Grandma, she hadn't done anything deliberately disrespectful.
She simply didn't know.
And that's the important lesson here.
If you're planning an unplugged ceremony and you've got guests who might not understand the announcement, make sure that message is communicated to them beforehand.
Because I can make all the announcements in the world, but they're not much use if someone doesn't understand what I'm saying.
Respect the Couple. And the Creative Team.
Here's something else worth mentioning.
Whether your ceremony is unplugged or not, please be mindful of the professionals who have been hired to capture the day.
These legends are there for a reason, and couples often invest a significant amount of money in their services.
I've occasionally seen guests unintentionally get in their way, particularly during family photographs after the ceremony.
And look, I get it.
Everyone wants a beautiful photo.
But if there's a professional trying to organise a family portrait, perhaps don't stand directly beside them trying to get the exact same shot.
Give them the space to do their job.
And if the couple has specifically requested an unplugged ceremony?
Please respect that request.
Even if you reckon you'll only sneak one quick photo.
They've made that decision for a reason.
And it's their wedding, after all.
One More Thing. Let's Talk Social Media.
Here's another little detail I always like to discuss with my couples.
Are you happy for your guests to post photos of you on social media before you've had the chance to share them yourselves?
Because believe it or not, this is something couples can have very different opinions about.
Some couldn't care less.
Others would really appreciate the opportunity to share that first photo, make their own announcement and enjoy that moment before their wedding starts appearing all over Instagram and Facebook.
And you know what?
Both are completely reasonable.
It's your wedding, and it's entirely your call.
So when we're discussing unplugged ceremonies, I like to go that little bit further and ask whether you'd also like me to mention this during my pre-ceremony housekeeping.
If you do, no worries. I'll make sure your guests know you'd appreciate them holding off on posting anything until you've had the opportunity to do so yourselves.
If you don't care, that's equally fine.
It's just another one of those little conversations worth having before the big day.
Because sometimes, the things you haven't thought to ask about are exactly the things worth discussing.
So, Should You Go Unplugged?
My answer is the same as it is for just about every wedding decision.
Let's talk about the pros and cons, and then you decide.
If you love the idea of your guests being completely present, soaking up every moment without the distraction of their devices, an unplugged ceremony might be perfect for you.
If you'd rather have everyone capturing their own memories, that's fine too.
And if you genuinely don't mind either way?
We can simply leave it up to your guests.
There's no need to overcomplicate it.
The important thing is that whatever you decide, your guests understand and respect your wishes.
Because whether they're holding a phone or holding back tears, the people you've invited are there to celebrate you.
And that's what really matters.
Happy planning.
Ryan.
