“We don’t want a long, boring ceremony.”
If I had a dollar for every time a couple said that to me… I probably wouldn’t need to be writing this blog.
But here’s the thing.
NOBODY wants a long, boring ceremony.
You don’t. Your guests don’t. And believe me, neither do I!
Let’s be real for a second.
When your guests receive their wedding invitation, I’m willing to bet the first thing that pops into their heads isn’t…
“Oh my goodness… I can’t wait to sit through the ceremony!”
Nope.
They’re probably thinking about catching up with friends, enjoying a few drinks, hitting the dance floor and having an absolutely cracking night celebrating you two.
But here’s where I see things a little differently.
I reckon the ceremony deserves a little more love.
Because while some people might see it as a formality before the real party begins, I see it as an opportunity.
An opportunity to entertain your guests, get them engaged, feel involved, have a few laughs, share some meaningful moments and remind everyone exactly why they’ve come together in the first place.
And if we can send them off to the bar afterwards feeling even MORE excited about celebrating you, then I’d call that a pretty bloody good result!
So, How Long Does a Wedding Ceremony Actually Need to Be?
Here’s something that usually surprises couples.
From a legal perspective, the essential spoken components of an Australian civil marriage ceremony can be completed in roughly 60 seconds.
Yep. ONE MINUTE!
There are a few legal requirements we need to satisfy, including what’s known as the Monitum, which is a statement I must deliver as your authorised marriage celebrant, explaining the legal nature of marriage.
Both parties must also exchange their legally required marriage vows in the presence of their celebrant and two adult witnesses.
And that’s essentially the spoken part of the legal requirements.
Of course, there’s paperwork to complete and marriage certificates to sign, but the actual words required to get you married are actually pretty brief.
In fact, we only need five people present.
You two, your celebrant and two adult witnesses.
Everyone else?
They’re a bonus!
Now, considering the time, money, planning, stress and occasional tears that go into organising a wedding, I reckon it’d be a bit of a shame to invest all that effort into a ceremony that lasts approximately one minute.
Although, on the bright side, you’d certainly get to the bar pretty quickly!
Here’s Where YOU Take Control.
This is something I always explain to my couples.
You two and I are a team. A trio. And together, we’re in control of what your ceremony looks and feels like.
And that includes how long it goes for.
One thing I always want my couples to understand is that when it comes to creating your ceremony, you’ve got choices. LOTS of them!
There’s a wealth of different things we can incorporate to make your ceremony personal and meaningful, but the last thing I want to do is overwhelm you with options.
So let’s start with the basics, explore what’s possible, and work together to figure out what feels right for you.
Rather than approaching things with the mindset of “We don’t want it to be too long,” I like to flip the conversation.
We’ve got our essential legal words sorted.
Now…
What would you actually LIKE to include?
Would you like me to share your love story?
Perhaps you’d love to exchange personal vows?
Maybe there’s a special ritual, a meaningful reading, or an opportunity to involve someone important in your lives?
Or maybe you’re thinking…
“Blacky, mate, just get us married so we can get this party started!”
And you know what, that’s perfectly fine too. You certainly wouldn’t be the first to ask me that.
Because every single thing we choose to include simply adds another little block of time to your ceremony.
Some things might take 30 seconds. Others might take five minutes.
It’s not complicated.
We talk about what you like, what you don’t like, what feels right and what doesn’t.
We add a little here, take a little away there, and before you know it, we’ve created something that genuinely reflects you.
And from there, I can give you a pretty accurate idea of how long your ceremony will run.
So, What’s a Good Length for a Wedding Ceremony?
Now, everyone’s definition of a short or long ceremony is different, but here’s how I generally look at it.
7–10 minutes: Short, Sharp and Punchy!
Perfect for couples who want to keep things simple, meaningful and straight to the point.
12–17 minutes: The Sweet Spot!
This is where many of my ceremonies tend to land.
Plenty of time to share a few laughs, tell your story, create some beautiful moments, say your personal vows, and get everyone involved without feeling like we’re dragging things out.
18–25 minutes: A Little More Room to Move.
Ideal for couples wanting to incorporate additional elements, perhaps a reading or a prayer from a family member, rituals or other meaningful inclusions.
25 minutes and beyond:
Absolutely fine too.
Particularly for ceremonies incorporating religious or cultural traditions, multiple readings or other important elements that deserve the time and attention they require.
One little tip! If you’re planning a ceremony that’s going to run a little longer than usual, make sure you give your venue coordinator or wedding planner the heads-up.
That way, they can allow enough time in your run sheet and make sure everything else flows beautifully throughout the afternoon and evening.
Because the last thing we want is your ceremony throwing the rest of your carefully planned day out of whack!
And here’s the important part…
None of these options is better than the other.
They’re simply different ways of celebrating different people.
It’s Not About How Much You Include!
I think this is where couples can sometimes get caught up in the planning process.
They see something at another wedding, stumble across a beautiful ritual or viral trend on social media, or hear about something their friends included in their ceremony.
And suddenly they’re wondering whether they should include it too.
Which is completely understandable.
But here’s my advice.
Don’t include something just because you think you’re supposed to.
Your ceremony isn’t a competition to see who can squeeze in the most readings, rituals, stories or special moments.
And it’s certainly not about putting on a show for your guests.
It’s about celebrating your relationship.
Your personalities. Your people.
And ultimately, what getting married means to YOU.
Some of the most beautiful ceremonies I’ve been privileged to officiate have been incredibly simple.
Others have been packed with personal touches, laughter, tears and everything in between.
And they’ve all worked beautifully for one very simple reason.
They were a genuine reflection of the people getting married.
So, Let’s Forget About the Stopwatch!
If there’s one thing I’d love couples to take away from this, it’s that you don’t need to decide how long your ceremony should be before you’ve even figured out what you want it to look like.
Start with what matters to you.
Let’s have a conversation, explore your options and put together something that feels right.
Then we’ll worry about how long it takes.
Because at the end of the day, your guests aren’t going to remember whether your ceremony lasted 11 minutes or 19.
They’re going to remember how it made them feel.
And if we can have them laughing, smiling, perhaps shedding a tear or two, and walking away feeling even more connected to your story…
Then I’d say we’ve absolutely nailed it.
And don’t worry.
The bar will still be there when we’re finished!
Happy planning.
Ryan.
